Archive for June, 2012

Denominations put people into categories that make christians against each other and that is not what the Gospel preaches. – Me

I like to refer to myself, religion-wise, as a denominational mutt, meaning because I was raised at my Grandpas hells fire and brimstone Pentecostal church, I visited my other grandparents Lutheran church, we went to an AG church, I went to youth group at a Presbyterian, Methodist, and Baptist church through the week, I also volunteered and went to a non-denominational group called Young Life, and now as an adult, I chose Non- Denom churches…

I get that the first rebuttal from someone who already hates what I am saying is probably along the lines of “People make those choices to be against other denominations, not churches themselves… ” In my experience, that’s not necessarily true, every denomination I have visited makes jokes about other denominations, given if you don’t have a light hearted sense of humor about it, can be taken in the wrong way.

It really makes me wonder why people chose the denoms they do- So, open forum, you’re reading this, so leave me a post of where you go to church and why.

Answer some of these questions too, maybe not for me, but just for yourself-

Why am I here?

Are you going to the same church just because that is where you were raised or your parents dropped you off at?

Do you truly agree with the denominations values and beliefs?

Do you truly even know what the church you are going to believes in itself?

Have you ever read or taken the time to ask about the mission statement of the church?

What do you like about where you go?

Are you only there because you have friends there?

Does the preacher convict you?

Is the music good?

Do you need to have a rock show worship, or are you fine with a choir and organ?

What do you actually believe?

What do you want from a church, and are you getting it from where you go?

If you love where you go, have you become a member? If not, why?

Are you tithing to that church?

Are you giving your full 10%?

If not, are you in a financial bind?

(Because I guarantee once you start tithing, you will see double increase in your income!)

God blesses good stewards!

These are extremely important things to think about! You cannot just choose a church based on if they sing your favorite worship song or not! How quick are we to judge another church in how they worship or how the pastor preaches! JUDGING IS A SIN! How dare we say we won’t go somewhere because we don’t enjoy their style right? We all do it though… I mean I know you will never catch me in a traditional Lutheran, or catholic church… but I’m just saying, I too need to work on my judgement of other denominations-

If you want to listen to an organ in the morning and not an overdone laser light show with rock metal music and worship leaders in skinny jeans and a scarf… then by all means pipe away…

There are many like me, who have a more eclectic style where I can sit in a tabernacle listening to Gaither Hymns all day, or I can go to the neighborhood Six Flags over Jesus, get my Starbucks and dance in the aisle…

I don’t care how you worship, we don’t all worship the same way…

I have a couple songs that I can listen to that will bring tears of joy to my heart and I’ll be driving down the road and before I know it, the dude next to me is wondering why I’ve got my arm out the window praising God and weeping like a baby… it’s happened more times than I like to admit…

I am so sick of people not claiming where they go to church and being proud of it.

There is a certain stigma with the church I like to attend here in town, it is what you would call a “Mega- Church”, I’m not a member, only because I like to go to several churches, I don’t like being tied down, if I want to go to a small church one day, I will, if I want to get my face melted off, I go to Mass… hahaha…. noooo way… I love you Ryan,(my best friend who happens to be catholic who reads my blog) but man oh man I don’t like the idea of going to mass and saying “Hey, uh, here’s my prayer Mr. Saint, can you put in a word to the big guy for me?”

My God talks to me, we have a direct line… I don’t need any middle man… we got this… no secretary needed…

One of the other denominations I love the people of who love God too, but Lord almighty, I cannot do business with the tree huggin hippies over at the methodist church… ohhhh man, I was once a youth pastor for a methodist church… goodness sakes… during the interview for that position a mom came in for the group interview in a swimsuit… the pastor carried a gun at all times… it was just too much man… God bless them and may He do what he wants with that place but… ya… I feel I am tad liberal, but I lean pretty conservative in the churchly world…

See what I mean, about christians being against other christians? I mean I just ranted on other churches and I’m telling you not to! It’s so easy to just fall right into dogging on someone or thing… I feel bad about it, but I’m just keeping it real, y’all-

I just look at Christ and what he taught us as humans and I just don’t get how people can take what he said and interpret into one thing or another idea… of course if we took everything literal we’d all be amish… right? is that what they do? I know they make good bread… if being amish means you know how to make that bread, then maybe I’d like to amish… except I can’t grow a full beard… and I like to shower… and video games… and I’m fat… and they would hate me… because I don’t speak german… don’t they speak german or something? What’s that all about? or in their pronunciation, “Aboot” Gosh, I’m a bad person… Luckily I have a Father who forgives me… no hail marys needed… unless im on the field… which I just now understood why they call it that…long pass…a prayer… Hmm.

And what’s the deal with these mormons… just kidding…

How’s about I just rant on every denomination completely ruining how I meant this blog to be…

Mormons are only a little less jacked up than Tom Cruise and his placenta eating Scientologist friends and whatever the people on Sister Wives are…are they mormon?! Dude that show is jacked up!

Have you seen the Amish show on the Discovery Channel? I think its on that channel… where its a documentary about a man who helps teenagers leave the amish life… amish people are jacked up too!

I think when we get to heaven God is going to look at us and say “None of y’all had it all right…”

I think He is going to look at me, hopefully give a mighty chuckle, shake his head and say, “Come on, let’s go see your dad… he’s been waiting for you…and after that, I want to show you a few things…”

I don’t think any denomination has it all figured out… though I do think Jesus loves him some Gaither Homecoming dvd’s. I bet whatever denomination Bill Gaither is, is what we should all be… he is amazing.

I think we should all give up fighting each other on all of this too.. what good has it done to shun an atheist or beat up a struggling homosexual? Such an easy target for “Christians” Who do you think you are?! I know we are not supposed to hate, but I HATE the ignorance people have who think one sin is worse than others! The church needs to preach this! I wish pastors would remind their church every single sunday of this fact!

Christianity as a whole has a biiiiiiiiiiggggg scar right now in life that churches in the past have ripped open wounds and poured salt into…. People everywhere have such a horrible taste in their mouths from some ignorant church, or some idiot false prophet, telling them they are going to burn in hell for whatever they are doing… condemning people and making all of Christianity look like crazy jerks.

Had you seen the article about the group of Christians that went to Gay Pride in LA and apologized for how Christians treated them, and there is the picture of a homosexual man hugging a christian?

Granted, I think that even Homosexuals scowled at the picture because the gay man was only wearing tighty whiteys… whatever works bro… it’s the point that some of us are actually trying to fix this!

But then again,

For every one person trying to fix this, there are 100 idiots out there who go to church on Sundays then are calling every well dressed & manicured man the “F” word on Monday.

I’m straight, and I love manicures… if you’ve never had one.. what are you waiting for, go!

The church needs to fix the people in it’s own building before we even need to think about stepping outside the walls…

I get that the church is full of sinners that’s why we are there, but man, if you can’t even get your own sin in check why in the world are you casting judgement on others?!

Throw that stone and see what happens, judge yourself first then once you get yourself in line…which will be never… then you can call others out!

I love God, I love Jesus, I love church, but man, we really have to focus more attention on ourselves…

So take what you will from this… I’m fired up… you should be too! Do something different and love others, stand out from the crowd and beg for forgiveness…

This is truly being Christ-like.

Love yall-

J

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10 years later…

Posted: June 21, 2012 in Uncategorized

10 years.

10 YEARS?!

Insanity.

Life seriously seems to fly by, I can remember graduating high school like it was yesterday! I can remember little details like how I was locked out of the civic arena minutes before we were supposed to walk, what I was wearing and who was there to cheer me on… I remember that I had a pocket full of confetti that I was too nervous to throw in the air when it actually came time to walk across the stage… I wussed out. Honestly, I saw that they were taking pictures and Bethany Simpson was my partner to walk with and I didn’t want to ruin her picture… I was a gentleman.

I remember all the plans I had, going to Chicago to chase after a comedy dream, down to Orlando working for Disney, which actually did happen, btw… I was chasing the dream of being every one’s favorite lovable sidekick in a new comedy movie, making millions and living the dream.

Living the dream….

Kinda makes you sit back in your chair a bit huh?

Maybe I am the only one that ever plays out the “winning the lottery” dream over and over in my head about what I would do when I won the 300 Million, would I take it in a lump sum, or rake in hundreds of thousands a month, would I donate some to my school, or surprise some friends, retire at 28, have homes in every city… I hope I am not alone in that dream…

I always thought that I would be someone that when I came back to my hometown that people would swoon over me, signing autographs, people wanting pictures with me and renaming my high school theater after me… man I was really into myself.

I guess we all have dreams though. Sometimes if we work hard, and put forth the effort we can achieve those dreams… ah who am I kidding, the world is jacked up place and no one ever gets exactly what they want… if they think they have gotten to the place where they are the most happy, there’s always something missing or crazy that happens like they lose a leg, or develop speech impediment, or get real ugly…

Is it crazy that I still hate some of the people who were jerks to me in high school, like I don’t want to beat them up, or shoot them or anything, but I just don’t wish anything good for them in life hahaha… that’s horrible, but I gotta keep it real… I just hope that if I see them at the reunion this weekend that they have the fortitude to apologize… I just visualize them sitting at a table, all together again, only talking to their group of “popular” friends, pointing and laughing at me, sad and embarrassed I leave the party to the parking lot where I go Carrie Underwood Louisville Slugger on their not so fancy as expected cars… just kidding… maybe…

It’s crazy that when you get bullied in high school the effect is has on you 10 years later… maybe I need to get over it, it just made me so self conscious though… it really did. I hate it when people don’t like me, it bothers me, what did I do wrong? Am I not as muscular and good looking as you are? Do I not have the right clothes on? I certainly make more money than I did back in high school so that can’t be it…

I never did anything wrong to those people…

I really hate them huh?

Geez, where did all that come from?

It’s amazing what God has brought me through in life, but those little things like that we still cling to- I guess it makes us who we are in life, I know because of things like that I care more abundantly for people, I love interactions with others, I am very outgoing and apparently reassuring of myself…

I’m still in process, and maybe I’m not who I am supposed to be yet, but man, I am so much better than who I used to be…

I think in life that it’s too easy to fall into the rut of society, meaning, people are so used to suckling on the teat of media telling them what to wear and who to be like and to buy this and that and if you don’t have this or that you suck…

I’m sure someone has a rebuttal for me on that one-

BE LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN! That’s the definition of beauty right?

Even my wife, a grown woman, swoons over this chick! When that show comes on, I don’t exist… She says “I just love them, they are fun to watch…” All I can do is shake my head-

Humans fantasize about living lavish lifestyles, living on the beach, being driven around in the back of an Escalade, dropping thousands of $’s on shoes in one sitting…

I get that to fantasize is sometimes referred to as “The American Dream” but what about those of us who are not all that different, but connected through a spiritual wavelength of just wanting to get through life by treating others right, loving our families, and having just a little extra to do something special… That’s all I want, I don’t need lavish homes that look like a designer threw up in it, I don’t need a car that warms my butt in the winter and cools it in summer, I don’t need to impress others, though it’s something I struggle with…

What makes us just “die” to have these things? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, humans have “Stuffidis” we have a condition that we want and want and want and want and want… if there is not something you want, you’re a liar!

My struggle again is the need to impress others, especially with this 10 year reunion thing coming up, I thought I would be someone completely different than who I am, I never thought I’d get married, let alone have a child… neither did my wife by the way… we were destined to meet though, and we did… I think that I definitely need to work on who I see myself as, because this makes me feel like I am a very vain person, I find my identity in “Stuff”! How much stuff do you have now, what quality of stuff do you have now, do you buy your stuff here or there, what kinda stuff do you drive, what stuff makes you money to buy more stuff?

It’s unfortunate, but it’s true…

Why are we so obsessed with being “somebody?”

People need to take a Navin R. Johnson look at life and just be excited their name is in the Phonebook… (if you get that reference, we should be besties)

A person who I was not necessarily friends with in high school once pointed out to me that even if we are a people who thing we are talking outside the box and doing something different, really isn’t true, there are people who feel exactly like me, just like there are people who will fight me on their stance that you have to buy everything you see on E! that the celebs have…

To the people who don’t want to conform to this society, guess what, by not conforming, you are still conforming to a group!

“So, yer sayin…that, I’m “the man”, whitey, and you guys are the victims of a tyrannical, racist, oppressive society… MAN THAT SUCKS!!” (If you haven’t seen Black Sheep, why are we friends?)

I never really thought I would be such an activist, maybe that’s too harsh of words, just a dude that cares so much about fighting what society tells us is acceptable, I am so tired of having junk tossed down my throat though, I mean really, I don’t want to hear about half the stuff that is on tv anymore… we just got Direct Tv, and I’m not very impressed with it because they boast 150 channels for 20 bucks, then you expect to have awesome channels, and I have 30 channels alone that are home shopping channels and tele-mercials!! I absolutely hate that I am paying for spam channels! Now I get an email every other day from them too that tells me about more channels I don’t need!

We wake up in the morning and what’s the first thing you do? I guarantee you check Facebook right?

People can’t hold normal conversations anymore, we either have that phone in our hand looking at it the entire time, or we are texting the person sitting next to us!

Kids these days have Iphones by the age of 12! When I was 12 I was out riding my bike and catching fireflies, getting scuffed knees and lost in neighborhoods…

We can’t even let our kids play outside anymore! Everyone is a creeper now! Everyone is going to snatch out children and do some weird crap with them!!

Our children need to have an imagination… giving them cell phones and letting them watch crap like Jersey Shore is ruining society… I’m just saying…

Be original with yourself, and your children, dont plop them down in front of the tv, do something wild and crazy like talk to them!!

Ughh….

Blows my mind what has become of society in the past 10 years…

I’ve said this before too, but I just want to be a dude, who loves his family, who does the right things, who lived his life how God taught was right, and that might be thought of by someone randomly for being who he was all the time, not some fake dude who loves stuff…

The only thing, absolute only thing that is important in life for me, is leaving my daughter with the memory of how awesome I was haha…. that’s it, if she learns anything from watching daddy that makes her a true and just person in this life, that loves people and loves God on her own, not through anyone or even me telling her He is real… then I did my job.

Also it’d be good if I had some nice stuff to leave her that she can sell for way cheaper than I paid for it to make some money to go to Cabo or something…

Hey everyone, in the past 10 years I didn’t make it to SNL, I didn’t make a movie, (though I am in one…), I’m not on tv, or even that funny all the time anymore, I’ve calmed down, I don’t throw Rt 44’s full of slushy out of my Jeep Wrangler at mothers walking down Ashland anymore… I have a wife, a really, really hot wife who LOVES me back, I have an amazing baby daughter who is the light of my world, and guess what, I don’t have a ton of Ikea stuff in my house, or drive a BMW, I’ve never been over seas on vacay, nor have do I travel as much as I like, but guess what…

I’m happy…

I’m so happy.

Like, never thought possible happy.

I’ve had more fun in my life over the past 10 years than I’ve ever had before.

I’ve had some of the absolute hardest times too-

I’d never trade any of it for a different story though, not for 300 million dollars, or 410 thousand a month for the next 30 years…

(that’d be nice though…)

…… Just so my daughter can blow it all on BMW’s and Ikea furniture for her house on the beach in Cali stuffed with all her clothes from DASH and $30k heels…

It’s an inevitable sick cycle…

Thanks for letting me rant…

Couple Friends

Posted: June 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

When I was a kid the most popular thing to do on the weekends was spend the night at a friends house. It still could be the popular thing to do, but I haven’t been a kid for about 15 years. Friday would come, and you would go around to friends and in my case, ask them if they wanted me to stay the night at their place, see I loved going to other peoples houses, I thought mine was boring, who wants to be around their own stuff when we could play with YOUR stuff? Right outta the shoot I was a selfish person. hah.No,seriously. I hated having people over to my house because I am an entertainer, from a young age I wanted to be in a new scene all the time so I could use their stuff to make jokes, to use their life situation to better my own.

Not that we had some crappy house or whatever we had a great big house growing up, nice stuff, and plenty of toys. I just wanted someone to want me to come over. I had some toys, but not the same ones as others, I wanted to play with nerf guns, and legos, none of which I had. I duno why, my parents just never….wait I do know why, mom didn’t want me to play with guns, too violent I guess, which I was totally fine with, but the legos thing, now as a parent I totally see why… those puppies would be everywhere, and that would be annoying, and as a parent, the less annoyed we have to be in life, the better. NOT that we don’t like our kids, it’s just that we have to find a piece of normality in our days, and if that means not having to pick up a lego we stepped on in the middle of the night that scares us to the point where we fall into the wall or coffee table and hurt our selves, then no Legos it is. 

I wasn’t that popular in elementary school, I kind of noticed it but I was a kid so it didn’t bother me, I was too busy just having fun and trying to get through school haha. I was a horrible student too, oh man, just horrible. I probably had ADD, and went unprescribed all my life. I’m glad I didn’t have to take some pills to calm me down. I hate that some parents suck and can’t handle their kids wild imaginations and just put them on drugs to chill them out. I remember a lot of times I would call some of the “popular” kids to spend the night, and they would always have outlandish excuses, they hated me, it was super discouraging. I always invited them to do things, and they seldomly would comply. It was hurtful and I still hate them for it. 🙂 ….. same guys who were popular, and jerks in high school… same guys who still live in St. Joe, unhappy, always going to the same bar, telling the same “remember when” stories… At least I get a kick imagining it that way. I’m sure if one of them read this, (they know who they are) they would want to meet me at 3pmat Eagles field to fight. There’s a couple of those dudes that God really puts on my heart to forgive, but man, it’s hard. haha. 

In High school, things transitioned a bit, I started hanging out with a new best friend, Nick. He made me laugh. We did the absolute dumbest things together as you tend to do with you high school friends. The first time I met him, he was making out with a girl on my other friends couch and stopped, winked at me like “ya buddy!”, then kept on kissing. I instantly liked him. The next day I went over to his house, and when I got there, he was outside swinging from a tree, I kid you not, I was scared. Then, over the next 3 hours, we developed that character from him being an idiot in the tree into an autistic gorilla named CoCo who knew sign language and made up words that only Nick and I understood. He was my best friend. 

9 years later, through college together and being there for me at my wedding, much like with Danny from elementary school, the relationship faded. 

We started talking less and less, he changed as a person, I changed too, and we just didn’t have that same fire in our eyes for being best friends. It was the hardest thing I had gone through in a while. 

I then met Chris. Chris is my best friend. Chris lives in KC, I in Springfield, and we hate that we can’t hang out on weekends. We try to see each other often, but man, life happens and things get hard. We were each others best men at our weddings. We one day want to be neighbors, though we joke whoever has the bigger house the other will move into the basement. I miss him constantly, even though we text each other nearly daily, its not the same. 

I saw all this because we are at a new cross roads. 

We have become a married couple.

I have my new best friend forever. I know how cliche and lovey dovey that sounds. It’s true. It’s the one person who will be by my side until one of us, or both, however it happens, graduates to heaven. I could not ask for a better wife. She literally, not just the thing everyone says, she literally has made me a better man. I could not do a thing with out her now. I just remember being so lonely before I found her. When you hear God tell you, this is your wife, you listen, and man, I sure am glad I did. It’s been a total blessing. Life is so fun and different now that I have someone to spend it with. She is my best friend. 

It’s funny, once you get married, you move on and you don’t have as much time for the people who you used to be with 24/7. Not in a bad way where you don’t want to be around your buddies. You just have different priorities than friends. Especially single friends, man that was the hardest, I still have quite a few single friends, who haven’t met their person yet, and haven’t settled down for whatever reason. You still love them and want to spend time with them, but it’s just different.

They say, “you’ve changed” and to a point sure, ya I have, but at the same time I’m still partly the same dude, I still care about you, I still want to hang out, I just feel as though when we hang out, I have nothing to say to you hahaha. Not in a bad way, I just don’t know how to relate to some of my single friends anymore. You ask them what’s new and they go on a 30 minute stint about some new video game they got, or a new thing they are doing with some new friend and you try to keep up with them and encourage them but then it comes to the what’s new with me part and I say well, work is going good, wife is awesome, and the baby is growing… and before you know it they are changing the subject back to something else you don’t know what is about hahaha! 

As a couple we want “couple friends” and it’s been hard, sure we have friends who are married but just not the ones we want to necessarily surround ourselves with all the time. There are just these unspoken rules to being couple friends that we have all grown accustom to living by, do you know them? 


If not, here are the rules- 

1. Couples who aren’t married don’t understand. 

You don’t. Period. You are in La La Land, kids. Those googley eyes your giving each other, those sweet words of love and honey, sweetheart, boo boo, love muffin… Married folks don’t play that no ‘mo. Sure we still love each other, and call each other honey, but you won’t understand until you’re married. 

2. Couples who don’t have a kid, don’t understand. 

You don’t. Period. You want kids, awesome, you’re trying. Great! But until you have a kid, you just go on and enjoy your movie night, and date night, and concerts, and weekends to vegas, and blah blah blah. Live it up kiddos, because guess what, once that baby is here, kiss it all goodbye. Sure you might have grandma watch the baby for a weekend and go have fun, but once the real world slaps you in the face and you can’t go out because that tiny bundle of joy is tired and cranky and even though you’re all dressed up to go, they ain’t having it, then you’ll understand. 

People with kids who take those kids to other couples homes who don’t have kids, are always apologizing for something that kid is doing at the other couples house. “Can I set her down, don’t touch that, sorry, sorry sorry, ill get you a new one, oh that will come out….” You find out real quick who you’re real friends are once you have kids over to their place. 

3. Couple friends who move away, kiss that relationship goodbye. 

4. Couples who always have a babysitter and you don’t, shut up and stop telling us what you got to do last weekend. 

5. Couples have to like each other, meaning, I can’t just fire up a bromance with another dude anymore. My wife has to like his wife and his wife has to like my wife and we have to like each others wives and that’s that. You never want to hear from you’re wife, “Ya you all should go…” that means keep them outta my house if you like him then by all means go hang out but leave me outta it. 

6. BTW,  If you’re wife ever tells you, “Go hang out with your friends, it’s fine….” HAHAHAHA it’s never “Fine”. 

7. Couples, if you have an ugly baby, don’t wonder why other couples with pretty babies don’t want to hang out. 

8. Couples who take up real weird stuff like couples hot yoga, or repelling, don’t try to get us involved in all that hippie crap, you do your thing, we’ll do ours. 

9. Couples have to make sure they “click”, there’s always those first few awkward dates that we have to figure out if we like each other or not-

 “They seem nice…” – meaning- “I bet she is friggin crazy huh?” 

“Yall are so fun…” – meaning – “How come they are so fun, … (what’s the catch?)” 

“We’ll call you!” -meaning- “Don’t call us-“ 

“Bless your heart”- meaning- “Let’s never come here again…” 

10. If we come over and you’re house is real dirty, or you have an abundance of cats, or still have a Christmas tree up- we won’t be back over. 

11. Before you hang with another couple, the person who is already friends with one of the two in the couple sends a disclaimer text before you get there, for instance “Chas really hates brats, we can bring chicken-” Or, “Just don’t bring up anything about what we talked about earlier” 

12. The almighty eye brow raise and eye lock with your partner when it’s time to go- then blame it on the baby being tired, even though they are on the floor having a blast. 

13. If that doesn’t work, the- “Welp, we better let yall get some sleep…” routine. 

14. If you’re cooking was real weird, we won’t be back. 

15. The # of times you call each other “babe” while we are there, really can hinder if we hang again. 

16. The # of times you akwardly kiss in front of us, can too. 

17. If your my friend but your spouse is annoying and way too clingy too soon, we may need to do something different. Talking to her is too awkward, the next time we are there it’ll be even worse because she now knows our thoughts. 

AND 

18. As soon as you leave, YES, we are definitely going to talk about you, you’re not even out of the driveway yet… 

The Angel and the Devil

Posted: June 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

Have you ever been scared?

Not in the girl-from-The-Ring-Movie-crawling-out-of-the-tv sort of way, but truly nervous about something that you wanted so bad you could literally taste it.I’m naturally a pretty nervous person, I startle easily, and I convince myself of things like that there is a giant shark going to kill me in the deep end of the pool. I’ve always been that way, I used to be shy, but that’s because I just wanted to be left alone, mostly I still do want to be left alone, but as you get older you gain moments of toleration to others and situations you are put into.

When I was younger I played with GiJoes and Batman action figures, typical boy stuff, except for guns, mom didn’t allow me to have guns, water guns sure, but those cap guns and real-ish looking ones, she never let me have. I wasn’t mad, I just spent the night a lot at friends houses whose parents let them have guns and played with them there. :). I would be up in my room playing, and it was dead silent. My dad would always walk in unannounced and see what I was doing, then he would ask, “what are you doing” and I would be down the on floor with either my wrestling ring and wrestlers having a battle royale, or I’d have the full fledged BatCave toy out with the Batmobile parked in the garage and I was in detailed story lines involving every action figure I owned, except the GiJoes that I had ripped apart and had mere left over legs and arms in my plastic container-o-toys.

They would wonder what was going on because I was dead silent.

See most young boys are loud and aggressive with their toys, a CRASH here and a BANG BANG there, screams of death and victorious laughter.

But not in my room.

Silence.

You see, all my toys had voices but they were,

In my head.

Sound crazy?

I would be up there having the time of my life, each individual action figure had a name, background, and voice of their own. They would all come together in my elementary mind each day after school, where in which during the day I would be writing scripts to act out at night when I got home. Different plot details, new twists and themes. It was more of an art for me. Not just mashing heads together and making grunting sounds.

I think this is where I started teaching myself characterization.

I started developing my personality, my humor, my comedy. I figured out what I thought was funny and figured out how to mold it to fit others lifestyles.

Forward a few years to 7th grade. Now, I was never known in elementary school for my style, or pop culture knowledge or anything like that- See I didn’t focus on things like that until 7th grade when my older sister was nearing high school and she would teach me about things like brands to wear, popular people, and music. The music thing was special to me, I always loved sunday worship time before church, I would lay under the pew and feel the bass of the drum pound off my chest and I thought it was the neatest thing, but I was sort of a nerd in this that I didn’t know what a cd player was until my sister got one and of course I wanted one soon after- I had my walk-man, and a basket full of tapes.

Not music tapes though, christian comedy tapes.

Mike Warnke, Mark Lowry- guys like that. I didn’t want to listen to music really. I wanted to listen to these guys, over and over, and over. I wanted to figure out how they popped the crowd, I wanted to learn about segways and opening statements. I wanted to be a writer like these guys, develop my material, write and it finally gave me an avenue to get all these voices out of my head and on to paper.

This new knowledge of said “cd player” mixed with all I had learned God-wise and people-wise from my grandpa made for some really entertaining times for me.

My grandpa was a hells fire and brimstone pastor of a small, and I mean SMALL church outside of Paris, Mo. When I say small I mean my grandpa could be preaching at the pulpit up front and reach down the aisle and shut the door for you when you came in, small. My grandpa would take me to nursing homes and we would walk room to room and he would walk in and start a conversation with a stranger and by the end of the hour he would be praying for them and know their entire life story. He’d come back and they’d know him by name the next time. Sure he was a pastor and that’s what we expect pastors to be like, but he wasn’t going there to preach to them, he was going there to just talk, he wanted to know how they were and who they were, details would come out of those people, that they themselves had never told a soul. I got to witness this first hand! You never see that anymore. Just a pure, genuine interest in people and letting them tell their story. An open ear to just shut up and listen.

Have you ever tried it? Just asking one question and then letting someone go on and on about whatever it is on their heart?

That is who I wished I was. Sure I have moments like that, but man is it  hard to find those moments in life now.

People don’t seek that anymore, well, maybe they do, through therapy- those people are making a killing right now, especially in big towns. Big towns are a whole different blog in itself. People don’t care in big towns. All they want is money and to have people think they are a big deal.

Anyway. I’ll rant on that later.

…..

……

lost where I was-

I duno, I just think right now that sometimes I have the classic cartoon devil and angel on my shoulder, especially with starting this ministry, I hear the devil speaking over me an age old song that I can’t do this and that I will never succeed and that I’m not funny, and that I’ll get on stage and forget everything I’ve rehearsed, and that people will not like me and blah blah blah blah blah…

I’m terrified.

My only saving grace is knowing that this is what I am called to do by He who lives inside of me, and greater is HE that is in me!

If you come to a point in the day where you think of me, or Laughter Doeth Good Ministries, Pray.

Pray for strength, pray for security in knowing I am good enough, knowing that my silly jokes are just a partial vital part of someone maybe seeing God through what I am doing.

Pray that God blesses this ministry, and that He chose me for a reason, that God will use me to teach others to find their smile once again.

I feel a literal burning in my stomach to do this, but as much as it burns sometimes I get weak and weary that I am not good enough.

The bible says that God uses His children for the greater of mankind. God is Love and through loving others He will show his beautiful head through me.

I’m excited. I’m terrified, but that’s ju