Becoming a “Yes” man.

I’ve grown tired of my own frustrations. Wondering if I will ever be good enough to do something on my own. Being terrified of how I might look, others perceptions of me. I’ve had satan in my ear speaking words of failure over my calling, and life, telling me I am no good, telling me it will never happen, that someone else will steal the idea and someone else who is better than me will do it and that I suck-

Well, forget the Devil and screw the negativity that he brings because I am done with it.

My favorite song by my favorite band, Shane and Shane wrote these lyrics-

Embracing Accusation by Shane & Shane

The father of lies
Coming to steal
Kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

The devil is preaching
The song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies
Be telling the truth
Of God to me tonight?
If the penalty of sin is death
Then death is mine
I hear him saying cursed are the ones
Who can’t abide
He’s right
Alleluia he’s right!

Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain
Jesus saves!

————

This is the part of the song that makes me cry, every, single, time.

Oh the devil’s singing over me
An age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently
He’s forgotten the refrain…
Jesus saves!

I didn’t go to church this past weekend and get all fired up about this, it just came to me. I am going to start this ministry, Laughter Doeth Good Ministries, and dagnabit, it’s gonna work! I am done with wondering, I’m not getting any younger and I had always just wondered, what if.

I am unsure of how every tiny detail will work out, but at least I am giving it a shot.

The purpose of this ministry is to simply, just, smile. I need to find my smile again. Somewhere along the way I lost it. Somewhere along the way of growing up, getting married and having this amazingly beautiful little girl, though all those brought happiness in one regard, I am still empty on the other because I had this calling that I was ignoring. I want it off the back burner, I want to stop saying “Ya eventually I will do that” or ” I’ve always known I was supposed to….”

I AM supposed to- so, why am I sitting on my butt not doing it?

Get busy livin, or get busy dyin.

Laughter Doeth Good is-

Laughter Doeth Good Ministries is a faith based outreach for anyone who has ever been down and the only thing that brought them back up was a good laugh.

Laughter Doeth Good Ministries, though brand new in concept and design, has roots dated further back than Methuselah. We are a ministry, ministering to the broken among us all. We are a ministry ministering to the people standing in the pew next to us. We are a ministry ministering to the beat down, the worn out, the ached, the pained, the worried, the sad, the lame, the hurt, the grumpy, the down and out, the weak, the strong, the courageous, and the ones who need encouraged.

Laughter Doeth Good Ministries travels across the nation to churches, youth groups, summer camps, conventions, hospitals, nursing homes, and revivals spreading the sounds of laughter, lighting up faces with joy, and giving a glimmer of hope to those who are weary.

Laughter Doeth Good Ministries wants to hurt you with laughter. We want to see tears flowing down your face. We want to put a cramp in your side, and a smile on your face.

Laughter Doeth Good Ministries, it’s just what the doctor ordered.

 

To be honest.

I had an interview for a second job 2 weeks ago to be a director for a partnership here in the Ozarks that helps “at risk” teenagers and I didn’t get it. I didn’t get it because I didn’t have the administrative experience that they wanted. I have 28 years experience growing up in the church my grandfather built from scratch, a ministry partner with my father who was a preacher, backing from numerous pastors in the state, numerous churches, volunteer groups, ministries, camps, rehab centers, and one on one mentoring with students where I’ve laid down my life to encourage them to live theirs the right way, dug holes with students hurting, sat next to homeless teenagers on the curb and talked about life, cried with them and laughed with them, watched them work through the issues and graduate programs that bettered their lives- and they, they…just… wanted someone who can fill out papers better than I can?!

I’m over someone else judging my character and skills.

I know I am a dreamer, but now, now… I’m a doer.

I am done being held back on things I am passionate about. That little devil on my shoulder isn’t going to get the satisfaction of telling me I can’t do it.

I am starting this ministry because I know, for one time in my life, I know it’s exactly what I am supposed to do. I am done worrying what others will think of me, spreading laughter and joy is what I am supposed to do- it’s just who I am. I am so tired of being someone else’s little peon busy worker bee-

 

I am keeping my job at the insurance office- hahaha- let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here.

Daddy’s gotta pay bills-

And I also see and love the correlation between being a comedian and selling insurance, if I were a lawyer it’d be even better. What great jokes may come…

 

BUT

 

This is happening.

I can chose to let the power of words and fears control my life or I can speak positivity and love over myself and live this time here on earth how I always envisioned.

We have so many words of death we speak over our own lives. I hate this, I am starving to death, I can’t, it’s hard, but, but, but, I, I, I….ME ME ME…. SCREW YOU, DUDE!

GIVE UP! Let go, and Let God! Super cliche, super christianese, super convicting.

BUT

It worked.

I challenge you, no wait, challenge yourself to a wrestling match over negativity in your life and you can move mountains.

Speak words of encouragement over others, even the new guy at the office, 🙂 and you will be the change you want in the world. (Someone awesome once said that, and I totes magotes brought it back- booyah! )

Try things you had never had the guts to do. Feel the wind in your hair for once and just go for it, whats the worse that can happen? The world sticks it where the sun don’t sun? Boo hoo hoo- get back up and keep going. Great things happened by one dude getting an amazing idea and acting on it. My favorite George Washington Carver for example, who freaking knew that if you heat and smash a peanut your get the most delish butter in the entire world!? Look at him now, father of the best stuff on the planet, and, My hero. Bless you GWC, BLESS YOU!

So, with this said, go- go out into your world and do something for your own betterment. Something that you love. Get fired up! I will be cheering for you the entire way!

The longer you wait, the longer you wait.

 

 

 

 

 

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds, in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile, through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and there’ll be tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through
If you’ll….
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear, may be ever so near,
That’s the time, you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you’ll just….
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear, may be ever so near,
That’s the time, you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you’ll just….
Smile

 

 

Laughter Doeth Good Ministries Launch!

It all started as an idea in my head, but now, it’s coming to life.

 

 

More details coming very soon.

 

Please keep me and LDGM in your prayers!

 

-j

If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life… but really, if it’s like 37 more seconds I’m out of here-

My leg starts shaking, usually grinding my teeth, you can see my temple moving because of it, I feel as though I could just throw my phone literally through a wall- with an outburst of

“Honey, are you almost ready? Gimme an ETA here I’m dyin!”

 

She may just think I am the most impatient man on earth, but I bet there is someone worse off-

 

I hate being late. I hate being late so much that often times I am nearly 30 mins early for apts. I hate being late even more if it’s someone elses fault.

 

I think maybe I have ADD, I have never been prescribed with it by anyone who would actually know any better, but If I were a doctor, I would scribble a note to myself for some Adderall. I am so sick of being in the middle of doing something semi important and then dazing off and counting the # of leaves on the fake tree in my room

– 74, that I can see anyway-

There are moments when I am driving that I will have an extremely detailed day dream, and I will look back up at the road and I am 5 miles down it and have no clue how I stayed in my own lane or even made turns- If you have ever seen my videos singing or talking while driving, then you know I can def multitask it up!

ADD and impatience combined is a horrible situation, I’m the worst sitting in a doctors office, just the worst, I get through US Weekly in mere minutes, Maury Povich on the tv entertains me for a couple more minutes, but then if its over a 30 min wait, I’m out the door and walking the halls pretending I’m a detective and there’s a bad guy hiding in a broom closet and I gotta find him,- I’m singing outloud “Da, Da, Dum, Dum, Da, Da, Dum, Dum, Dum WAAH NAAA NAAA, WAHHH NAA NAA……!” (Mission Impossible theme song) somersaults across the hallway, the whole 9…

And if you haven’t seen a fat guy rolling on the floor of a hospital  screaming the M.I. Theme song then you haven’t been living life to the max.

 

…… But if you have, sorry if my butt crack was hanging out.

 

It’s not my entirely my wives fault-  Yes, I said entirely…

here we go- 🙂

I will give her credit, sometimes, sooooometimes she does a great job. It depends on the situation, I understand I am not only opening, but I have opened and smashed the can of worms with a sledge hammer at this point and I am squishing  them in my hands and dancing around the lifeless worm bodies…. and they stink, ugh, worms smell so bad… anyway the point is sometimes she is on the ball, but sometimes, I want to hang myself…

Let me give you an example, if she is using the car in the morning and I need to get to work by 9am, she is typically good about being ready to go when I need her to be, BUT, it’s the times where there is no structured schedule that make me want to step on a cats head because I am so frustrated we are still sitting on the couch waiting while she has changed 37 times, and is singing songs while putting on makeup and straightening her hair. Those are the times that drive me nuts-

I think most married guys, maybe even boyfriend girlfriend guys know, but you know what, actually, screw you boyfriend girlfriend people because its nothing like that, when you’re boyfriend girlfriend, that’s busch league kid, get away from me with that “I like you a whole lot, you mean the world to me let’s go to Applebees then ice skating afterwards and just sit and stare into each others eyes for hours then make out while I hold in a fart because I shouldn’t have had the boneless wings, but I can’t fart in front of you because that would make me a loser, and you would dump me, which is funny play on words because a dump, is exactly what I need to do right now!”

Ugh, you’re not a real couple until you’ve farted in front of that woman and she either farts back, or laughs.

But you know what I am saying, I mean that just kills me!

I have started doing this, on a friday night while she is getting ready to go out to dinner as we usually do, I just sit, I sit in my chair and I know, I know exactly how long it’s going to take me, 7 mins, you time me, 7 mins for me to get out of my gym shorts and t shirt and into a decent outfit for the evening, check my hair or toss on a hat and we are out the door- The moment I wait for is this, when she has the final outfit on, and you know its the final outfit because its either the newest shirt she got and her fav jeans, or its old reliable, that one outfit she just loves and loves- and she walks across that hallway to the bathroom and she already has her make up on, this is just her final prep and hairspray maybe some more lip gloss, since it got less glossy in the past 4 mins since last time she applied it- then your run, jump into those jeans and polo, or whatever it is- toss on those shoes, which I have totally eliminated shoe string shoes, try it, get some slip-ons, trust me saves 2 mins of tying and retying- get yourself some TOMS or flip flops, or tennis shoes that you prepare the shoe laces on to where you don’t have to tie them and you are golden- I mean it’s that easy!

Girls, honey, women, listen, I know what you are thinking right now, “Well you would not want to be out with me in public in my yoga pants and over the shoulder PINK vickys secret shirt, tennis shoes and a hat- YES WE WOULD! GUYS THINK THAT IS HOT! I wish my wife would wear a hat, t shirt and jeans more often, guys like that! we do! And when your married, since my wife is hott, with 2 t’s- I love it when she dresses down when we go out! Other dude’s are less likely to check her out……hey…. wtcrap?! Is that why you dress up, Chasity?! omg…we’re fighting…

Oh and forget annnnnny privacy at all once you and that lil ray of sunshine are married. Trying to have a nice relaxing poop? Playing a game on your Iphone, sitting back enjoying the noises exiting your body while giggling and smirking ever so slightly at the plop plop fizz fizz oh what a relief it is? Then all of a sudden a frantic woman with frazzled hair busts through the door holding a small child asking how long much longer you’re going to be or where something you have no clue you even owned is-Or even worse just wants to talk? I mean if my bathroom had a chair in it, she would sit back, eat some snacks and watch me go to town.

I have even worse anxiety over peeing or pooping when someone is near the room, if someone is around it’s hard to pee- I duno why, but for guys, it is- when she tramples on in the room and sits up on the counter and just stares at me it takes all the enjoyment of my time away, I just want her gone-  And I know what you are about to say, LOCK the door, hahahahaha do you really think that matters?! What an idiot. She knows how to use that credit card for more than doing damage at BCBG ok? If you don’t know what BCBG is, then you are not married.

Girls give guys anxiety. Bottom line.

Is it not hard enough that when we are single we have to jump through flaming rings to get your attention, but then once we get you to date or even marry us, we have to go through that?! Take it easy on us ladies! We are an easy, easy breed- I mean eaaaaasyyyy!!!

Girls are so complicated- it’s insane!

Don’t feed us those loaded questions, get outta here with that noise!

How does this shirt look, be honest, I’m honest with you…

Does this make me look fat?

Do you hate this? Wow, you hateeeee this!

Where do you want to eat? Ugh why there? No I don’t want to chose! You chose!

That’s what you are wearing?

Who’s that? (referring to a text, or any random notification that chimes in on your phone)

This show is stupid, I’ll watch anything but this!

Oh, you look comfy. (Time to go change)

 

Don’t feed us that crap! We know what you really mean!

Then you get mad at us for beating around the bush when we are in trouble for something, let me let you in on something, guys don’t intentionally lie, we just don’t want to hurt your feeling, so we putt around the hole with excuses and reasoning, searching for a better answer than the truth! We don’t WANT to lie to you, we just don’t know how to tell you in a kind and easy way- I wouldn’t even call those situations lies, I would consider them more of a delicate open ended answer to see how you react, so then we can lay down the foundation for another delicate answer- hahaha. Kidding of course….  🙂

Guys lie, but girls lie more! And if you say no, then you are a liar!

We don’t want to fight, we don’t want to argue, we hate that! Drama is for the theater, we don’t need that here! If you want a direct answer, ask a direct question!

And don’t poke and prod us to the point we snap at you, oh man that happens a lot, just chill out, don’t come up on us guns hot, back up a minute and let us chill out if you know we are fired up-and I know that women are thinking, why don’t you just calm yourself down instantly and tell me whats wrong, well it doesn’t work that way- once we are fired up, it takes a bit to chill out, its nothing we do on purpose or blow out of proportion, males just need time to let off some steam, TIME TO PROCESS!

My wife is a fast decision maker, she always knows exactly how she feels about something right at the moment it happens- Guys need time to process things, you say, “That’s a cop out”- No, its not, it’s proven that men need time to chew on things and process a bit- we have to do something wrong, get out noses smacked then learn from what we have done wrong, and guess what, we’re going to do it wrong again, maybe even a third time until we have definitely learned.

We just don’t have the programming to stop after one time for some things- It’s not for every situation, we know in the cases where if we touch something hot and get burned, that we aren’t going to touch it again, but in the “smaller stuff” aka taking the trash out, I know I have to do it on Monday Nights or Tuesday early morning, but if I forget, it’s not a big deal, the dude will come next week- Those aren’t big deals to me, but the other way around when it is a big deal to my wife that I don’t do something, or that I do something differently or better for our marriage, then I know it is important to her and I get it in gear and do it. Do not misconstrue this for laziness either, I totally agree dudes can make mistakes just because we are lazy. I try to not make excuses any more, if she wants something done I do it- it’s not worth the argument if I am lazy about something.

I am still guilty for things, but I am learning and getting a ton better from where I was-

We honor God by honoring and respecting our wives through actions and discipline that they have taught us. We honor God by cherishing that woman he created just for us, our one person. We honor God by protecting his daughter and providing for her and loving her and holding her high in our arms.

Whether we realize it or not, our wives have whipped us into better men than we ever were before, some call it being trained, or whipped, but here’s the deal, they show us this for a reason, that is how they deserve to be treated.

When a guy is single, its the dude show, its all about him and his bros and yadda yadda yadda, but when a man gives his life to a woman, I said, a MAN, no childish man can give his life to a woman, if he does its not real, might as well file for divorce, move in with your mom and buy a pack of wife beaters – life turns into this beautiful indescribable thing where nothing else matters. All I want out of life is to treat my wife and daughter to things I never had, I go without so they can have more- I want Paiser to have 300 toys and clothing she out grows of in a week, I want my wife to have her expensive make up, a $50 Kate Spade Iphone case, and to eat at Cheesecake Factory every meal- I want to take her on trips, to beaches and places she’s never been. I want the world for my girls, I love them dearly-

I understand what my father meant now when I would get something new and I’d ask “How come you don’t get something too?” and he would say “I don’t need it…”

We also have to learn each others love language, my wife’s is through actions, if I do a chore, or something right, she feels loved, and she knows that I feel loved when she hugs me or kisses me. I can just tell her I love her and she feels satisfied, where as if she would just say it to me I would think ya right, then wheres my kiss if you love me so much… 🙂

I say this a lot, but I know I don’t have it all figured out, but I must be doing something right because she hasn’t left yet, came close a couple times, she probably thought about smothering me with a pillow in the night a couple times too but she hasn’t done that yet either. I love that lady with all my heart and all my might. I hope that Paisleigh learns how to love someone through my actions. I know I will continue to grow and love even bigger than I do right now.

But

We’re all in process.

Someday.

Someday well get it all figured out. 🙂

 

 

Dear Scott,

Scott,

I see too much of my old self inside of you to let this relationship go to waste. I love you like the real life brother I never had- I really do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t even make the effort. Believe me, I have other crap I need to be doing right now. I had to take a moment, because when we take these moments and speak up for what we believe in, it can ignite a world of change in others hearts. Please hear me out, don’t shut me out. I need you to know a few things.

1. You are one of the most talented young men I have ever met. Your artistry and paintings could be in galleries. I have a couple friends who could help direct and hone your skills if you’d just let go and let your imagination lift you up.

2. You are one of the funniest, brightest, and outgoing persons I know.

3. You genuinely care about others, I know you do. I don’t think you know you do though.

4. So much potential. This is something I have heard all my life and at times, I even feel like I am wasting it. That’s convicting for me, so, thanks.

5. That heart. Man, that heart could do so much good if you let it.

6. You are a good looking young man, you have things going for you in that retrospective, but the crap you fill your life with masks it all.

7. You are creative, the world needs more creative people, not conformists who jump on the bandwagon.

8. Your family loves you, I know that’s hard to swallow, but they do, whatever mistakes from the past need to be forgiven -on both sides.

9. The people who you surround yourself with are negative influences. There was a time in my life where I thought the people around me were the essence of my life, they loved me and I loved them and we all enabled ourselves to the core. The one day I found myself, and moved forward, they didn’t follow. You will find that they never will. They will be stuck in that same turmoil they have been in for years. It will hurt your heart for them, but, you should never, NEVER, let them hold you back.

10. You are making bad decisions. Period. That junk you surround yourself with is killing you. Maybe not literally, yet metaphorically, everyone who is close to you is watching their favorite person die. I do not want to bury you. I’m not going to that funeral.

11. I feel as though I have already lost you at times, and that hurts my heart.

12. We all know there is something great within your spirit, we need to find that and bring it back out of you.

13. Whatever issues you have with your dad from the past, you know my situation already, I never had the opportunity to fix mine, your dad is still here, you need to work together to one day love each other again. It’s going to be hard, and you are still going to butt heads, but fix it, it will change your life.

14. Whatever issues you have with your mom from the past, you need to also work on that relationship. Again, it is a two way street, Mom, I know you are reading this, so listen up, the tough love situation we talked about, maybe in due time that needs to happen, maybe Scott just needs to be cut off completely, but, there is a chance for you in this- Stop enabling him, stop babying him, and force his hand. Make him step up and be a young man and make some decisions. He does not want to turn out like his brother. That may seem harsh, but it is true, he loves his brother, at times, but he is still influenced by that negativity as well- The program you sent Scott to a few years back, did establish some good in his heart, but he came right back into the fire where expectations of him being “cured” were let down. Take the reins of your family and guide it back on track. He needs his parents, not managers.

15. Scott, in return you need to lighten up. Let down your guard for 5 minutes a day with each one of your parents and just talk. Whether its about the weather, or about something that happened in your day, yall need to get that simple interaction down. DO NOT BE HOSTILE. Just talk to them!

16. Parents, be receptive to Scott, if he gets fired up, don’t yell right back at him. If he yells at you, tell him “I love you, and when you are ready to talk, I am here…” Do not force his hand.

17. Again, whatever is lingering around from the past needs to be forgiven on both ends. 7×70 y’all. But at the same time, We cannot allow someone to rail road us. Grace, but also Stern. Accountability is key. Set goals, small ones. First week, set up 5 min chats, second week, maybe a ride to sonic for a drink, 3rd week maybe a whole meal out together with the expectation of no arguing and if arguing occurs, stop what you are doing and part ways until both sides and control their emotions and come back together as one.

18. Learn to love the person you know they are in their heart again. Not that mess of a person standing before you. See the good in them, and exploit it.

19. Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, grace, All of you are going to make mistakes, don’t let them burden the unit. Do not go to bed angry.

20. Love. God is love, and with out Him, no relationship with last. I never once throw the bible at anyone, but maybe in your own time, on your own conviction, open that thing up and listen to your heart.

Y’all can overcome this. I was a stubborn mule of a man back in my day too. I fought my parents and hated them for all they were worth at one time as well. Granted I will never heal from my relationship with my own father which left me with a hole in my heart for the rest of my days- I want you to know that things do get better, Scott. You may feel like you are the only one out there who “gets it” and everyone else is just a bunch of idiots. That’s fine. I know me telling you that’s not true isn’t going to mean crap to you, but, in that moment of hurt, that you know you have in your quiet times. Know that someone does care. Know that I care. Know that God cares, Know that those idiots care. Even though it doesn’t seem like it at the time, just, know.

I always said in my testimony that I felt like I was off the path digging a hole of my own, deeper and deeper into the muck and mud and I watched the light of God fading from my heart and soul

but,

I was wrong.

He was in the hole right next to me, digging along side me, with the encouraging words “I am here.”

So Scott, I say the same to you,

I am here.

Even though it doesn’t seem like it,

I am here.

Even though the hard times,

I am here.

When the walls of that jail cell are creeping in cold and unforgiving.

I am here.

We are all here, it’s just time to show up.

 

I love you like a brother, not even like a brother, you are my little brother, man.

Please be receptive to this all.

Call or text me after you read this, ok?

 

– J